DULUTH, Minnesota - Madonna had just finished performing to a sell-out crowd at The Frozen Fauna Auditorium (217 seats) in downtown Duluth when she was asked about the new Miley Cyrus song "Can't Be Tamed."
Madonna, whose real name is Louise Ciccone [pronounced: LOU-EASE SUX-ONE] rolled her eyes, raised her eyebrows, and grabbed her crotch and said, that a 17-year-old girl has no business singing songs that have a vulgar theme.
The 51-year-old semi has-been added that Miley should be singing happy innocent songs like that sweet little country girl Taylor Swift, who sings about planting wheat, sowing oats, rotating the crops, and doing crafty things with corn cobs.
Madonna says that she places a lot of the blame on her father the former Billy Ray Cyrus, a man who wore a mullet a full ten years after the mullet was officially put to rest and joined the hairdo hall of fame along with the flat-top, the beehive, the crew cut, the bouffant, and the cornrow.
The "Material Girl" also pointed out that Miley in her short 17 years has already performed a pole dance on national television, grabbed her groin region on a PBS special, posed for provocative photos with her own daddy, kissed another girl on the lips (Selena Gomez), stuck a baby chick in her underwear as an Easter prank, and given the producer of one of her movies a lap dance in front of the cast and crew.
Madonna says that at the rate she is going she will soon make Amy Winehouse, Courtney Love, and Lindsay Lohan seem like the three elderly nuns who reside at Boston's Our Lady of St. DeGeneres of The Lesbos.
When Miley was told about the comments that Madonna had made regarding her and her antics, the 17-year-old Miley said, "Madonna? Madonna? Wasn't she one of Sir Paul McCartney's groupie rejects back in the mid 70s?"
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