USP (United Spoof Press)- Reports that a writer for a hot website dedicated for hosting fake news reports, The Non-News Network, has finally realized that George W. Bush is Truly the president. Ewrin D. Carlson Who goes by the writer pseudoname, Dirty Sanchez, has been writing spoof articles for the last four years.
Erwin states" I have been writing for the last four years. My friend got me into it, constantly sending me these hilarious articles on the election, so I decided to take a stab at it."
Now he spends most of his spare time online writing constantly. So much so, he has buried himself into this false world, "I have buried myself completely in this false world, I no longer even look to the real news to get my ideas, I just look at other peoples fake articles and get an idea of whats really going on, I thought you could always see where the fake and the truth was in them."
And thats when it started, he has been getting most of his real world information filtered to him through this website, and just now realized the true results of the latest election
"It was a shock, I remember the first time W got office and thought it was just a backlash, but it gave me 22 really good articles. Some gained hit after hit; well into the thousands! Then elections came up again and I geared up to write a ton on the new president. All the other articles started to come in, one after the other said George Bush won, I thought the fake information was just that. Then I thought after a couple of months that they really went off the deep end, trying to fool me into believing it really happened. After all, he (George) couldn't be that lucky."
Finally Erwin went to a local sports bar, to meet an online blind date, where on 32 television sets showed the supposedly fake president making a speech on the pick for head if intelligence. " My jaw hit the bar, just as my date arrived, she took it as a compliment, but I wasn't paying any attention to her. Then I rushed home to edit my latest article and review my equations for finding false information on Non-News Network. It took me two days!"
Unfortunately, Jill Sheldon, his date for that night, was left there alone. Where she was then continually hit on by drunk hockey fans with nothing better to do. It was discover that she never talked to Erwin again and now has two live in overweight boyfriends, Hank and Randy. They continually suck her bank account dry for beer money and watch old hockey videos.
Erwin now pays more attention to real world headlines, and is still trying to find Jill.