Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 16 May 2010

image for Will Young To Star As Geoff Hurst In Ben Elton's 1966 - The Musical!
Three Puddy Tats On The Shirt...

Sir Ben Elton, one time stand up comedian cum novelist and respected West End Producer has announced that as it's World Cup year and England don't stand a cat in hell's chance of winning it, he's going to give us all something to shout about.

'1966 - The Musical' was apparently conceived in a dream, in which Elton envisaged Geoff Hurst sprinting down a sun-drenched Wembley pitch to complete his hat trick to a soundtrack of 'Don't Stop Me Now' by Queen.

Upon waking, Sir Ben quickly put his ideas down on paper, and the most ambitious West End musical project ever conceived was born. With Will Young as Sir Geoff Hurst, and racing pundit John McCrirrick as the Russian linesman who gave that goal.

A string of loosely connected ideas began to form in Sir Ben's head, including Luke Goss, formerly of Bros, as the late Sir Bobby Moore and Noddy Holder out of Slade playing Jimmy Greaves, mournfully singing R&B classic 'It Should Have Been Me' by Yvonne Fair as the winning England team cavort around Wembley with the trophy.

Lanky Mick Fleetwood out of Fleetwood Mac has been pencilled in to play the late Sir Alf Ramsey, and Tony Hadley out of Spandau Ballet will play Martin Peters.

In a particularly poignant moment, MC Hammer will sing 'I Get Knocked Down' by Chumbawumba as Pele being stretchered off at Goodison Park. While Dizzee Rascal dances about a bit.

In a barnstorming finale, Cheryl Cole and Girls Aloud will perform their version of The Carpenters 'Top Of The World'

It is understood that Pixie Lott has agreed to play HRH The Queen and Ross Kemp out of 'Ross Kemp On Gangs' will play team coach Harold Shepherdson. Paul Daniels has been approached to play England mascot, Ken Bailey, although it remains unclear yet as to whether he has accepted the offer.

Ricky Martin is expected to accept the role of Argentine Rattin, who got sent off in the quarter final and Ice-T will play Eusebio.

Billy Connolly is set to make a guest appearance as a bitter Scotsman drinking Special Brew from a can in Piccadilly Circus singing 'Flower Of Scotland' as the English team cruise to global domination of the football world.

Which lasted about a year, and isn't about to be repeated any time soon.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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