Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 18 May 2010

image for Okay, So Who Wins The Most Freckles Contest? Lindsay Lohan or Ke$ha?
Lindsay Lohan shown at the dentist office getting one of her cavities checked out.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Lindsay Lohan has just tossed another drink into the face of another young woman.

LiLo will eventually end up throwing a drink into the face of the wrong girl who will pop the wayward diva-donna in her freckled mouth and rearrange all 7,000 freckles on her leathery looking body.

Even ex-boyfriend Samantha Ronson has stated that he/she is so afraid of Lohan that he/she has hired a private bodyguard who has been told to not allow Lindsay within 100 feet of her/him.

Ronson said that Lilo has gone bonkers and she is heading for the dark side of the dark side of hell and she says she is not talking about Hell, Michigan either.

Meanwhile La Lilo of La La Land says that she is sick and tired of everyone thinking that she cannot think for herself. She noted that she has an IQ that is somewhere around the high 70s so she is just not some pretty freckled face that fell off of a turpentine truck.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Lohan meant to say turnip. I talked to Larry King about Lilo and he told me that if she does not straighten herself out pretty soon, Demi Lovato may end up portraying her in the motion picture, 'The Sad Sad Story of Lindsay Lohan - The Freckled Faced Eff You See Kay Up.']

On the other side of the coin is the new age singer Ke$ha, who wears more glitter on her pubic region than Adam Lambert wears on his entire body.

Ke$ha has stated that she has more freckles than Lindsay Lohan does. She said that she received a letter from The American Freckles Federation asking her if she would allow a representative from their organization to count her freckles and make an official notation in their federation guide.

Ke$ha wrote back that she would agree to the count but just as long as the counter was a female and that she did not do any touchy touchy on her body.

In a related story. Ann Coulter says that she has three freckles. One on her left knee, one on her right thumb, and one on her biscuit.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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