Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 20 May 2010

image for Adam Lambert and Clay Aiken To Star in "Brokeback Mountain - The High-Pitched Singin' Years"
Wyatt "Bronco" Rainriffle, head wrangler on the movie "Brokeback Mountain - The High Pitched Singin' Year

HOLLYWOOD - Plans have just been finalized to have American Idol's alumni's Adam Lambert and Clay Aiken (both second place finishers) star in Stacatto Monteverdi's sequel, or actually prequel to Brokeback Mountain, Brokeback Mountain - The High-Pitched Singin' Years.

The film will take place two years before the original and is set in Sweetwater, Texas. Lambert will portray the part of Ennis Del Mar which in the original was played by Heath Ledger.

Clay Aiken will play the part of Jack Twist which in the original was portrayed by Jake Gyllenhaal.

Randy Quaid's part of Joe Aguirre will be played by Dennis Quaid since his brother Randy will no doubt be spending some time in a Texas hoosegow (jail) for his part in holding up a Snow Queen Ice Cream Shop in Texas with his wife Evi back in December of last year.

Stacatto Monteverdi stated that the film will not deal with the gay relationship so much as it will with the same sex sexuality of two grown men, who walk around in cowboy boots, cowboy hats, and cowboy underwear.

Monteverdi said that he wants to focus on the physical relationship between two queers who happen to be cowboys which is really as unlikely as the idea of having two African natives who do not know how to use a spear.

In the entire history of cowboys, going back to the 1880s there has not been one documented case of a cowboy being gay, much less of two cowboys being gay.

Monteverdi smiles. He shakes his head and says that perhaps the two are really drug store cowboys (not real cowboys) who moved to Texas from San Francisco.

Bingo! Monte, you hit the nail on the head. Go with that premise because everyone who lives in Texas knows that there are no gay cowboys, not even in Dallas, which is the place where a gay cowboy would live, if of course there was such a thing as a gay cowboy.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: When I first heard about the original movie, ''Brokeback Mountain, I thought that it was stupid. Two gay cowboys? In Texas? No way José! That's like saying that a Las Vegas showgirl is a virgin!].

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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