Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 12 May 2010

image for Zac Efron and Eva Longoria-Parker To Star In The Remake of "The Graduate"
A photo which Eva Longoria-Parker personally autographed and which I will cherish as I do my inflatable Cheryl Cole doll.

SAN ANTONIO - Eva Longoria-Parker was watching her husband San Antonio Spurs guard Tony Parker playing their elimination game against the Phoenix Suns when she was asked about her next movie project.

The petite star of Desperate Housewives, was dressed in a pink miniskirt that was so short that it happily showed off her animal print Victoria Secret size 5 bikini thongs.

She took a drink of her Dos Equis Beer and said that she is excited about playing the role of Mrs. Robinson in The Grauduate remake.

She stated that the original 1968 motion picture made a big star out of the virtually then unknown Dustin Hoffman.

Eva added that she is especially excited about starring opposite 22-year-old Zac Efron who will be playing the role of college grad Benjamin Braddock.

"Way ta effen go Tony!" She hollered out as husband Tony made a layup.

Longoria-Parker stated that she will play the part of the older, love-starved Mrs. Robinson which was played by Anne Bancroft in the 1968 original film. She pointed out that she hand-picked Zacky Efron from a gallery of about 20 young, good-looking, well-endowed studs.

She said that at first she was kind of hesitant to take the Mrs. Robinson part because being only 35, she felt that she was really not old enough to play the part of an old alcoholic, horny, bitch with Mississippi River like raging sexual hormones.

The director assured her that he will have the makeup department make her look the part fitting her gorgeously flawless thighs with cellulite.

He told her that the academy award winning makeup artist will also have a few varicose veins put in as well as she will adhere some stretch marks to her stomach to give her the real aging housewife look that Mrs. Robinson had back in '68.

"Damn good one Tony!" She yelled as her hubby sank a 3 pointer.

Eva said that she will also have crow's feet put in around her eyes, bags below her eyes, and drooping eyelids above her eyes.

Longoria-Parker was asked if she and Tony are planning on having a baby anytime soon. She laughed and said -

"Way ta go Antonio freakin Parker!" Eva screamed as Tony gave Suns guard Steve Nash a flagrant foul.

She giggled and said that lately it has been very hard to find the time to get together to talk about her, much less to find time to do the 'wild thang.' with her Tony Baloney [EVA WINKS].

Eva did say that if and when she has a baby, they have decided that if it's a girl they will name her Gabrielle after her Desperate Housewives character Gabrielle Solis and if its's a boy they will name him after Tony's coach Gregg "Pop" Popovich.

When told that Gabrielle and Gregg are both nice names, she started laughing and said that if it's a boy they'll name him Pop not Gregg.

She rolled her eyes and said that she hates the name Gregg because it reminds her of her high school boyfriend, Gregg Spanfasetti, who broke up with her the day before her birthday kind of like the way Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo did with Jessica Simpson last year.

"Hey you effen son-of-a-bitch doncha be knocking my cute little Frenchy to the court like dat ya big ghetto galoot-looking hip hop rappin' chump punk!"

"Thanks Eva. Have a nice day."

"And you do the same. Be sure and tell your lovely wife that I said hi. Hasta later Abel."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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