HOLLYWOOD - The latest edition of Dancing With The Stars was quite a physical undertaking. There was melodramatic movement on a night that saw a lot of physical action such as Niecy "Jiggly Parts" Nash accidentally hitting both her ears with her tits and Erin Andrews jumping up and landing with her crotch on her partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy's upper lip.
As the night of dance went on the viewers were treated to a vast array of passionate propulsion, transitional titillation, and trepidating tacoing and that was just the action at the judges table.
The gaytalian judge Bruno Tonioli was uncontrollable as he unzipped his pants zipper to show host Tom Bergeron that Olympic ice skating champion Evan Lysacek had managed to excite his inner hormones.
Lysacek's partner Anna Trebunskaya became so embarrassed at the sidesaddle antics of Bruno that her face turned as red as her hair.
But the couple that stole the show were Nicole "One of the Kardashians?" Scherzinger and Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough. The two foxtrotted for a minute and a half and literally put every fox in America and Great Britain to shame.
Bruno, Len, and Carrie Ann awarded them a perfect 10 each. Bruno also remarked semi-jokingly that Cheryl Cole, who is Derek's BFF, is one very lucky 5 foot 3 inch little ho.
SIDENOTE: Host Tom Bergeron says that ABC is considering a spin-off show with the flavor of Desperate Housewives and Dancing With The Stars to be titled, Desperate Dancers.