Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 10 May 2010

image for Celebrity Apprentice: Donald Trump Tells Cyndi "Time After Time" Lauper It's Time - "You're Fired!"
Cyndi Lauper shaving her legs that at the age of 56 hardly have any cellulite at all. (Photo courtesy of Chely Wright).

MANHATTAN - In the latest edition of Donald Trump's "Celebrity Apprentice" 80s rock icon Cyndi Lauper finally has her fill of being treated like a three year old and she calls Holly Robinson Peete a no good, prima diva, back-stabbing BB (black bitch).

Holly fired back that she is not a back stabber and told Cyndi that she is actually a front stabber who, because of Lauper's incessant babbling, managed to get herself all confused and turned around.

Meanwhile Sharon "Sniffle Sniffle Fa Shizzle" Osbourne says that former WWE prima donna diva Maria Kanellis whose last name is (pronounced: TIT-ty-FUL) is basically nothing more than just a pretty face, a beautiful body, and a sexy eye-candied slut. Hmmm. Well hell...let's see, three out of three ain't bad.

The celebs task is to redecorate el Donaldo's executive apartment which they all refer to (behind DT's back of course) as Casa Mucho Ugly Hair-O).

Lauper reverts back to the late 70s and early 80s and suggests that she wants workers to install a pair of disco mirror balls right above Trump's desk.

Poison lead singer, Bret Michaels mishears and asks Cyndi when the hell did she see his *alls when he has had his pants zipper zipped up ever since they began talking about songs, music, lyrics, and Durango Bango, the smokeless weed.

Lauper growing ever impatient with the cutting sarcasm and damn hacking coughing of Lady Lascivious of the House of Osbourne, tells Ozzy's wife to shut her friggin' cake hole (she meant to say pie hole).

The 56-year-old New York native then yells at one of the mirror ball installers and he grabs her by her bra strap, lifts her one foot off the floor, and tells her that if she opens her lopsided mouth one more time he will body slam her on top of Trump's mega-hairdo.

We cut to the board room where everyone is pointing their fingers at everyone else. Lauper points at Holly and Holly reaches out and bites Cyndi's finger. Lauper screams and proceeds to bite Holly on her elbow. Holly then spits at Cyndi but misses and hits Bret's fake cowboy hat.

Michaels then turns to Donald Trump, points is finger at him and says, "Hey Trumpy, these sure are some mad ass wet hens huh bro?"

Trump stands up. He walks over to Bret. He gets in his face and says, "Looky here Spanky, don't you ever point your finger in my face. And don't you ever refer to me as Trumpy. And never again, call me bro you got that you leftover hippie?"

Donald then tells Bret that he wants to talk to him after the show about booking his band to play at Ivanka's wedding reception, which will be held in Dubai, India.

Cynid tells Mr. Trump that she still has a band and that they are available. Donald thanks her for the info and says that they really want a band that does not play songs by Francis Scott Key, John Phillip Sousa, or Madonna.

Cyndi stands up and tries to bite Bret Michaels. Trump jumps on the table and over towards Lauper and knocks her down to the floor. And as Cyndi is laying there cussing in Yiddish, Donald reaches down and with his index finger yells out "Cyndi, you're fired!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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