DETROIT - TNT basketball sports analyst and overall commentator Charles "The Round Mound of Sound" Barkley was in Motown visiting a cousin he had not seen since his college days.
Barkley's mom, who was with him, was asked by the Detroit media if there was any truth to the rumor that her son was dating 'black bad girl' Naomi Campbell.
She let out an Alabama 'down home' laugh and said, "Honey child no, and not just no, but hell no!"
Charles laughed and said that there is no way in hell that he would ever waste his time dating Naomi Campbell.
"The Round Mound of Sound" cleared his throat and said, "Campy is a woman who is meaner dan a Wisconsin badger, a Michigan wolverine, and a Texas javelina.
Barkley said that if he was to date Naomi he would probably end up in jail. When asked to explain he confessed. "Now y'all lissen up. Naomi has a hellacious temper. Da bitch likes ta hit people. But she always picks on little people.
Now iffen da black bitch was ta hit me, I would hit da skanky ho so hard dat most of da black would probably come off of her and she would end up lookin' like Michael Jackson, and an ugly ass Michael Jackson at dat."
Barkley took a puff of his 10-inch imported illegal Cuban cigar. He smiled and said, "So I does trust dat I has made myself clear."
In other news. Donald Trump has just completed a book on grooming. It is entitled, 'Yes, I Am Having A Bad Hair Year.'