Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 6 May 2010

image for The Elisabeth Hasselbeck - Erin Andrews Feud Turns Ugly!
Erin Andrews during one of her Dancing With The Stars dance routines.

HOLLYWOOD - Barbara Walters of The View did her best to try and diffuse the big verbal feud between fellow View host Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Dancing With The Stars castoff, Erin Andrews.

Hasselbeck, the somewhat prettier version of GOPrincess Ann Coulter started the firestorm when she remarked to ESPN reporter Andrews that she thought that it was quite tacky, tasteless, and disrespectful the way she would parade her near naked body before the ABC cameras in some of the skimpiest dancing outfits she had ever seen on prime time television.

Hasselbeck, the conservative diva of the View panel added that three times during Erin's dance numbers she detected various intimate parts of her body including (1) Her right nipple, (2) Her stubbly bikini line, and (3) A major portion of her G-spot.

Andrews shot back by saying that she had no idea that Hasselbeck had lesbian tendencies since she seemed to see some of her private body parts that not even DWTS host Tom Bergeron who is less than 50 feet away saw.

Hasselbeck shot back by saying that Andrews and her boyfriend Maksim Chmerkovskiy also seemed to be quite lovey dovey and touchy feely during their rehearsals and during their live performances.

Erin said that Maksim is not her boyfriend and that Lissy the lezzy needs to get her dancing facts as well as her bra strap straight.

Elisabeth quickly adjusted her bra and replied that Kate Gosselin had emailed her telling her that she had seen Erin and Maks making out in Len Goodman's dressing room while the British grouch was back in England.

Erin replied that they had made out in Bruno Tonioli the gaytalian judge's dressing room, and that again Lissy had gotten her facts all effed up.

Hasselbeck told her not to cuss.

"Eff you, eff you, eff you!" Andrews fired back.

Elisabeth covered up her ears and Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar both nearly fell out of their chairs laughing.

Meanwhile, the other host the much overweight Sherri Shepherd asked if anyone had a Hostess Twinkie or a loaf of bread or something cause she was sure gettin' hungry listening to these two white cracker bitches arguing.

Walters asked Shepherd if she had gotten off her grits and diet water diet.

Sherri turned to Walters and told her to shut her redneck mouth which appeared to have five o'clock shadow, and leave a friggin sista be.

Erin asked Walters if it was true that Elisabeth is so naive that she does not even know where her clitoris is. Whoopi chimed in and said, "Yeah, sista, dat be true. Poor Lissy is so sheltered she thinks an orgasm is a musical instrument."

In other news. Former Vice-President Dick Cheney has just released his second book. It is entitled, 'Hey Folks, I Got Your Weapons of Mass Destruction Right Here.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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