CHEYENNE, Wyoming - President Obama was in Cheyenne addressing the annual convention of The Wyoming Bison Breeders Coalition and Association.
The president stated "Now lissen up y'all. Dem buffaloes is still a very important and integral part of da American way of life. Dey does provide us wiff such needed commodities as buffalo burgers, buffalo wings, and buffalo nickels."
He went on to say that it's really and truly a damn shame about that sumbitch, mother effen Buffalo Bill Cody who ran around and literally shot about 9 million buffaloes all by his long-haired, bearded bastard self.
President Obama said that if he had done that during his administration he would have had the buffalo rifle toten turd head Nazi arrested, tried, convicted, and shot with his own buffalo rifle.
The president has stated that he is so mad that he will introduce national legislation to have the town of Cody, Wyoming, which was named after Buffalo Bill, changed from Cody to the more appropriate Buffalo Droppings, Wyoming.
President Obama was asked what he had planned for Mothers' Day. He grinned from here to yonder and said that he had bought his wife, "The First Mama" a beautiful sleeveless purple blouse from the discount bin at Wal-Mart.
He also said that he is planning on having a big old-fashioned traditional watermelon Mothers' Day party. He stated that he has booked one of the best hip hop rap bands in the world, Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz.
The president said that the band members all hail from Saudi Arabia and they are the first Muslin rap band in the entire world.
He said that originally he was going to book the American rap band The Fa Shizzle Chumpz, but two of the members were recently arrested trying to smuggle counterfeit piñatas into the U.S. from Mexico.
President Obama said that just last week he, or rather the American taxpayers, had bought his daughters Sasha and Malia each Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz band's first CD entitled, Hey, If It Looks Like A Camel and It Smells Like a Camel Then Bubba The Sumbitch Is a Mother Effen Camel.
The president went on to say that Malia likes her new CD better than any of her Miley Cyrus, The Fa Shizzle Chupz, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, The Bro's & Ho's Crew 2 Crew Band, or Clay Aiken CDs.
He confided that his favorite song on the entire CD is the desert drought inspired ballad, "I'm So Damn Thirsty, I'd Even Drink Amy Winehouse's Honker Sweat."
SIDENOTE: The president was asked if the American taxpayers would be footing the bill to bring Camel Carl & The Desert Rag Headz all the way from Saudi Arabia to Washington, D.C. He smiled, took a drink of his beer, and replied, "Why hell yeah bro. You don't fa one effen second expect fa me to pay fa da $40,000 bill now does ya?"