Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 12 June 2010

image for The Word in Rustenburg, South Africa is That World Cup Player Ashley Cole Has Dated Each One of The Members of The All-Girl Band, The Saturdays
Ashley Cole and Una Healy visited Buckingham Palace and received a personal tour by Queen Elizabeth II.

RUSTENBURG, South Africa - Just as some folks were actually starting to feel sorry for English footballer Ashley Cole and his lonely life A.C. (After Chezza) comes word that he has reportedly dated each of the five members of the all-girl band, The Saturdays.

Vanessa White said that Ashley asked her out this past January and they went out on a date to Windsor Castle. She said that he touched her tata's while they were both standing on the drawbridge.

Una Healy said that Cole took her on a tour of Buckingham Palace. She said that it was an honor to get to meet Queen Elizabeth II, who gave both a personal tour of the main kitchen.

Healy said that she was amazed at the fact that the Queen had 17 bottles of vanilla extract alone.

Twenty-one year old Frankie Sandford said that Ashley and her drove around Soho and then ended up parking in a McDonald's parking lot where Ashley showed her his (blank).

Sandford said that Ashley showed her a tattoo he'd had done on his scrotum with the initials "C.C."

Rochelle Wiseman said that she dated Ashely twice and both times she saw his team Chelsea play and lose. Rochelle said that after the second loss, Ashley cried in the car all the way back to her flat.

Molly King, noted that she did not want to go out with Ashley because he does not have blue eyes. She pointed out that she is not prejudiced, but stressed that she does not like to date anyone who does not look like her.

SIDENOTE: Una Healy claims that she is Ireland's biggest supporter of the British National Team.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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