HOLLYWOOD - Dancing With The Stars British Judge Len "The Old Geezer" Goodman stood up, did a cartwheel and told Olympic gold medal ice skating champion Evan Lysacek that he saw him skating on ice and he looked very nice, but watching him dance on wood made him feel good and he almost wished that he was a girl, (Len, not Evan).
Sitting next to Len, The gaytalian judge Bruno Tonioli butted in and said that he does wish that he was a girl, (Bruno not Evan).
Evan's dance instructor Anna Trebunskaya (pronounced: TITS-A-BOUND) giggled and said, "Hey, I'm a girl."
"Girl smirl. Honey, sweety, bitch lips who gives a shit?" Replied Bruno.
"I do. And I'm a girl as well." pointed out the North Korean Judge Carrie Ann Inaba.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Actually, Inaba is South Korean. Her family escaped to North Korean when she was only four hours old to avoid the dreaded Chopstick Revolution.]
Host Tom Bergeron not wanting to feel left out noted that back during his college days at Solid State University he dated a Tibetan transvestite but swears he did not know that Kangeena was really a guy until their fourth date when he noticed that Kangy had a taco tickler that made his look like a Vienna Sausage.
Tonioli lit up like a shopping mall center court Christmas tree and asked Bergeron for more details please.
Tom instructed Bruno to go home and log on to his site and he could read all about it and even view 40 or so photos.
Meanwhile the three judges awarded Evan and Titanna, or rather Anna three perfect 10's. The couple was simply ecstatic. Evan kissed Anna, Anna kissed Tom, Tom kissed Bruno, Bruno kissed Maksim, Maksim made a face, and Carrie Ann Inaba sat all alone wondering why no one kissed her.
Len offered to kiss her and Carrie Ann said that she would pass because he kind of smelled like stale crumpets.
In other news. Iceland's volcano continues to wreak havoc; kind of like that crybaby twat Glenn "NaziBoy" Beck.