Written by susan allen-rosario
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Topics: Florida, Girlfriend

Wednesday, 22 June 2005

image for Jerry Springer and "Date" party in Florida
Lena and Jerry party in Florida

Miami, Florida - Yes, that's right… but, wow, Jerry's dating again! Tabloid TV tycoon Jerry Springer, after a much publicized break up with longtime girlfriend, Bambi Bung, has once again, or for the first time, found true love.

"We met on the set of the new movie "The Last Temptation of Godzilla."
(The plot for the movie goes something like this… Godzilla hangs out in the red light district of Tokyo, falls in love with a geisha girl, but… SHE.. is in love with a businessman working for Honda… yeah, right.) His new squeeze was working as an extra in the flick, when they met. "It was love at first fright," Jerry told reporters.

Lena Lagoon, Jerry's lizard love, is rumored to be pregnant. "We think she's on the nest. She has been gathering cardboard, string and tissue paper for weeks. It's all in a pile in the corner of our set trailer," cast members told us. "It sure looks like a nest to us."

Friends close to Jerry say, they are not surprised he fell for Lena. "Paybacks are a bitch, and so was his ex-girlfriend, Bambi. She ran off with a Miami dolphin, and we don't mean a football player, we mean an actual dolphin. He's a headliner at Sea World and quite the ladies fish, a typical entertainer. He charmed Bambi right into his diving pool. Jerry was heartbroken and wouldn't even look at another woman for months. Then he met Lena, and she was just the ‘lizard' for him!" But, do they hear wedding bells?

Friends say they wouldn't be surprised if the couple took their love to the altar, and tie the knot. "They really love each other, and we know that Jerry wouldn't want his little hatchlings to grow up without a father, if she is indeed, on the nest," they said.

The wedding and the reception might be a bit of a problem, however. Apparently Lena's family is HUGE, and spread all over the place. They also expressed some reservations about food for the wedding reception. "Lena eats cut worms on saltine crackers during the breaks, we hope they don't put that little treat next to the liver pâté` on the refreshment table. If people have to look at that, the wedding cake and the rest of the food will probably go to waste…

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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