Written by Bureau
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Topics: kirstie alley

Sunday, 2 May 2010

image for Toads Always Leave Five Days Before Kirstie Alley Visit
"Feel That?"

A new study by some eggheads has revealed that five days before Kirstie Alley visits a city or town, the toads all leave.

The same thing apparently holds true for earthquakes.

Combining the two separate studies, scientists have now requested that Kirstie Alley be hired by the federal government to be paid highly to fly around the country's earthquake prone areas to throw off the toads and thus, disrupt the earthquakes.

"It's worth a shot", stated Professor Shakes of the National Weather Service. "Of course, my people here have nothing to do with earthquakes. You need to see a Seismologist.

However, before we could interview a single one, Kirstie put a spandex in the works by saying that she will not participate in such a scheme.

"I've barely any self-esteem as it is. Now you want me listed as replacing the toads? It probably wouldn't work anyway and I'd die in the quake."

Well, that's on her conscience the next time a big shaker hits, not ours.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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