Katie Price has today lashed out and revealed her anger at the rushing through of The Digital Economy Bill during Parliament's wash-up period.
At her daily Price conference a furious Katie fumed, "This bloody Digital Economy Bill is an outrage!!! I'm fuming that this was passed through Parliament in such a quiet way. I never seen it on the news!"
"Someone just told me they've read it and I ain't even in it, innit? I told Gordon Brown ages ago I wanted me own Price clause, or else. He should've listened to me!!! If he thought he had problems with that Duffy woman just wait 'til I get on his case!!!"
When pressed on the details of the missing Price clause Katie said, " I want an hourly report of all activity within Team Price infrastructure and all domain names what mention me. They have also got to tell everyone how my TV, radio and online presence contributes to the best interests of the general public."
She went on, "I want the right to take legal action against anyone who infrinjulates my copyright. My work is my work and I don't want no one reproducing my books online, I paid a ghostwriter a lot of money to write them words."
And on, "I want all internet service providers to give me a list of anyone who's used my name in a search that day, and what was said, so I can track down my haters once and for all. I want the power to tell the government to block someone's internet service if they don't like me, and if they don't they gotta pay me £250,000."
And on some more, "I want more coverage on Channel 4, because I can never get on there, and I want What Katie Did Next broadcast in Welsh."
Looking at his watch a fatigued journalist asked, "Is there anything else? I should really be in Rochdale staking out a 66 year old granny."
"Yes", she replied confidently, "I want an exemption from violent games regulation for Alex's new ZX Spectrum title Call of Tootsie: High-Heel Warfare II."
No one could be bothered to comment.