Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 26 April 2010

image for Justin Bieber Turns Down An Offer To Go On A Date With Kathy Griffin
Kathy Griffin, aka "America's Cougar" who is 49, says she has a strong addiction to much younger men.

HOLLYWOOD - 16-year-old Justin Bieber (pronounced JUS-TIN BEE-Ber) has just stated that he received an email from Kathy Griffin, host of the cable reality show, My Life On The D-List.

Bieber said that Ms. Griffin told him that she has completely broken off her relationship with Levi Johnston, the ex-future son-in-law of Sarah Palin and that she would be open to the possibility of going out on a date with him.

The teenage resident of Canada said that Griffin went on to say that she has found that a lot of younger men are finding out that she has become 'America's Cougar.'

She noted that two of the reasons are her rather outstanding tits, which she says on a scale of 1 to 10 are a definite 11. Griffin noted that she prides herself in being able to say that at any one time there is at least one hickey on either her left one or her right one.

Kathy said that when she was involved with Johnston he got to where he would rather be with her doing the 'whoopee whoopee' than out in the damn, cold Alaskan wilderness hunting those damn smelly caribou, moose, and reindeer.

Griffin also revealed that Levi told her that he would much rather be in a hotel room kissing her on her (blank) than playing ice hockey with his friends back in frozen Wasilla, Alaska.

Johnston was asked what about Kathy Griffin, a woman who is old enough to be his mother, he liked the most.

He answered that what he liked the most about Ms. Griffin where her downright flawless funbags. When asked why he had such a fascination with mammary glands he replied that perhaps it's because he remembers being nursed until the age of six.

Meanwhile Justin Bieber has made it perfectly clear that he has no desire to even look at Kathy Griffin's hooters much less put them anywhere near his mouth.

SIDENOTE: Kathy Griffin talks openly about her relationship with Levi Johnston in her recent book, Yes, It's True - I'm A Cougar and America's Young Studs Want Me In The Worst Way. She said that she was so thrilled at going to bed with a good looking 19-year-old like Levi that after each 'wild thang' session she would stick $20 in his boxer shorts while he wasn't looking.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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