Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 25 April 2010

image for Britain's Got Talent: Topless Fire Eater Tia Brodie Is One Fine Bloomin' Red Hot Act!
British Fire-Eater Tia Brodie performing her flaming act on Britain's Got Talent.

LONDON - The second week of Britain's Got Talent absolutely heated up the entire place with a fiery act by former exotic dancer Tia Brodie.

Miss Brodie, who easily advanced to the next round, actually attended fire eating school and she is now one of the most prolific, talented, and lascivious far eaters in the entire United Kingdom, and most probably the world.

The 33-year-old Brodie, who says kiddingly that she gave up smoking cigarettes because the smoke irritated her eyes, has become an early on favorite to capture the first place prize.

The woman who says she accidentally barbecued both of her tonsils during the second day of fire eating classes appeared on Britain's Got Talent wearing an extremely limited outfit, which included black high heels, short little black knickers, and two round black pasties which barely covered her nipples.

The show's director Radford St. Guyler said that in the entire history of the show he had never seen judges Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan more attentive during a contestant's performance.

St. Guyler grinned and said that even female judge Amanda Holden could not help but give Miss Brodie the up and down once over three or seven times.

Simon said that as long as he has been judging reality shows such as Britain's Got Talent, X-Factor, American Idol, and Who Wants To See Me Pee Pee? he has never become more excited than he did on Saturday night.

He said that even Paula Abdul and Kara DioGuardi, who have physically been all over him, have not given him the vividly profound erection that Miss Tia Brodie has managed to give him.

Cowell went on to say that Brodie is certainly going to make some guy one hell of a gobsmackingly fantabulous wife. He grinned and said can you imagine the fantastic barbecues that her husband will be enjoying.

Simon then smiled and said that he would love to go over to her house for a wienie roast. The Brit known as "The Royal Rude Dude" said "And if I may be honest, I will definitely bring the wienie, I'm sorry, I meant to say wienies."

Piers Morgan meanwhile giggled and said that looking at Tia in her black pasties and black knickers almost made him want to go back to smoking.

Simon laughed and told Piers that he still smokes 44 cigarettes a day and he would love to hire Tia to be his personal cigarette lighter.

The hosts of BGT Ant and Dec were so excited they both had to go back to their dressing rooms for a few minutes. Amanda said that Tia Brodie could very well give new meaning to the term hot cross buns.

Mandy laughed as she said that Tia never has to go in for a bikini wax since she noticed that after her performance she saw a few singed pubic hairs on the stage floor.

Simon Cowell feels that Tia Brodie could very well go all the way and end up performing for Queen Elizabeth II, at The Royal Variety Performance.

Piers laughed out loud and said that he will certainly make sure that he gets a front row seat for that event.

Holden giggled and added that it will definitely be the 'hottest' ticket in all of Great Britain.

To view some very intimate photographs of Tia Brodie which were taken of her pastie-less breasts log on to www.tiabrodieshowsthepups.tit

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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