Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 26 April 2010

image for Mike Tyson Has Been Banned From Mickey Mouse Land For Reportedly Biting Off One Of Minnie Mouse's Ears
The Rockin' and Rollin' Roller Coaster at Mickey Mouse Land in Anaheim.

ANAHEIM, California - Reports coming out of Mickey Mouse Land are that former world champion heavyweight boxer Mike Tyson has been banned permanently from the theme park.

The word out of the Left Coast amusement park is that Tyson was walking down the main street when he suddenly and without provocation bit the left ear of the Disney cartoon character Minnie Mouse.

The park employee who portrays Minnie Mouse, Lizzy Pattypinn told park security that she was just sitting on a park bench eating a cheeseburger when all of a sudden out of nowhere, Mr. Tyson sat down next to her and asked for a bite of her cheeseburger.

Pattypinn said that she of course declined his offer since she has no idea where his big old lips have been. She said that before she had finished saying her reply to Mr. Tyson, the ex-boxer reached over, grabbed her head, and bit her left ear.

She said she screamed as loud as she has ever screamed in her life and it took three theme park security officers, her husband Mickey Mouse, Pluto the Dog, and four park visitors about five minutes before they could pry Tyson's lips off of her left ear.

Tyson was placed in handcuffs and led off to the amusement park jail. He was asked why in the world he had bit the left ear of such a sweet little young lady. He told her that he could not get to her right ear because it was on the other side of her head.

He then pointed out that she had disrespected him by refusing to let him take a bite out of her cheeseburger.

SIDENOTE: Tyson has in fact been permanently banned from ever setting foot on Disneyland property again. He also agreed to pay Miss Pattypinn $50,000 so that she will not sue him for biting her.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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