Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 14 June 2010

image for British Celebs Cheryl Cole, Sarah Harding, Amanda Holden, Katy Perry, and Pixie Lott To Entertain The America Troops In Detroit
American troops stationed in Detroit's 'War Zone.'

DETROIT - In a move that Simon "The Prince of Putdowns" Cowell said was a jolly, bloody, good, gobsmacking idea, celebrities from Great Britain will be flying to America to perform for the American troops stationed in Detroit's combat zone.

Cheryl Cole of the all-girl band Girls Aloud will be performing along with fellow band mate Sarah Harding and reality show X-Factor judge Amanda Holden, singer and Russell Brand's fiancee Katy Perry, and Simon Cowell's ex-girlfriend Pixie Lott.

The British gals are part of a good looking female celebrity exchange program between the United States and Great Britain.

The program, which was the brainchild of Simon Cowell, is called Brits & Yanks Express Their Thanks.

Cowell said that he got the idea from watching an old Benny Hill program. He said that after watching the show he phoned up Larry King who then called Oprah Winfrey who then called Vice-President Joe Biden's wife Jill and each one expressed a willing desire to participate in the celebrity exchange program.

The CEO of 19th Hole Productions, Cowell, said that the only requirements are that all of the gals must be very attractive, and posses great looking luscious legs, and a fantastic pair of firm gorgeous tits, and a fabulously beautiful arse (or ass for our American readers).

The United States will be sending Carrie Underwood, Alicia Keys, Beyonce, Lady Gaga, and Crystal Bowersox to entertain the Royal family in Buckingham Palace.

Simon Cowell has said that he also came up with the idea of each one of the performers raffling off an intimate apparel item of hers such as a bra, pantyhose, a bikini swimsuit, or a pair of panties. The tickets are priced at $15 each or 10 for $149.

Cowell said that all proceeds will go towards buying Detroit Tiger baseball tickets for underprivileged Detroit unwed mothers and in England the money will be used to repaint the entire outside of Buckingham Palace.

SIDENOTE: President Nicolas Sarkozy of France requested that his country be allowed to participate in the celebrity exchange program but Jill Biden informed him that France really does not have any good looking female celebrities that either the U.S. or the U.K. are really interested in.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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