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Thursday, 22 April 2010

image for American Rugrats Nick "Idols" Mentor Victoria Beckham's Jewelry
First things first: Got to pay off the trailer fer peepaw.

LOS ANGELES, California - Ex-Spice Girl Victoria Beckham has no problem stealing the spotlight, but she has a serious problem with the little rugrats who stole jewelry from her dressing room after they appeared with her on America's Got Idols Wednesday night.

"Rhinestone chandelier earrings, a diamond-crusted blue sapphire pendant, necklaces, bracelets... they got the lot!" she said as she rifled frantically through her personal effects.

Jewelry is Beckham's secret weapon. Whether she's strutting her stuff on the red carpet or stepping out to the corner store for a box of posh spice tea, each subtle pair of earrings, every blinged-out bracelet, each breathtaking amethyst pendant adds a highly personal touch to Beckham's outfit, helping to complete her signature look.

The U.K. stunner recently brought that look to Eastern Kentucky, where she was supposed to oversee the collection of 6,000 children's books being donated to the Make Illiteracy Less Fashionable (MILF) foundation.

That's where she said she met Leroy and Britney, who briefly joined the Idols mentor onstage for her appearance on behalf of MILF - then nicked her jewelry, according to the English fashion icon.

"Yeah, that's right, we done it," said Leroy, "and we'd do it again too, because she was beholdin' to us."

He explained that, while Beckham did in fact volunteer to help collect books for needy Kentucky kids, she spent most of her time sorting through them, then lifting the best ones for her own private collection.

In fact, the slitherin' polecat done made off with several of the children's favorites, like Harry and the Horsie, Princess Eichhornia, and Never Smile at Monkeys.

"It ain't fair," complained Britney. "Leroy and me's had some schoolin', but we need books so's we can read 'em, and we ain't got no extry money fer new ones!"

"Yeah," said Leroy, "ever since pappy got bit by a pizen snake coiled up over yonder, and I burnt up the motor in peepaw's truck, we been awful broke.

"I reckon we ain't got to worry about that no more," he added, diving into a trunk full of diamonds.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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