Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 22 April 2010

image for Robert Pattinson Proposes To Kristen Stewart Again
Kristen, Do You Want This F*cking Ring Or What?

A Hollywood insider has informed us that Twilight star Robert Pattinson popped the question to co-star Kristen Stewart just last night - the 17th time he's proposed this week.

It appears that K-Stew, currently rumored to be suffering from a severe case of melancholia brought on by sporadic bouts of flatulence, has still not given the hunky heart-throb an answer one way or the other, and has been described by our insider as 'dithering.'

R-Patz's 17th proposal this week is believed to have been delivered over an intimate dinner for two at the Santa Monica branch of the Oasis Bar Grill And Steakhouse. It is believed that K-Stew once again declined to give a straight 'yes or no' answer, opting instead to order another glass of cabbage water.

Leaving a frustrated R-Patz biting his knuckles and wishing that the story about his alleged fling with Leighton Meester had never come to see the light of day.

Our source informed us that R-Patz is getting seriously frustrated by K-Stew's reluctance to commit, and hints that he's considering having a fling with some fat chick from San Diego who he contacts on Facebook.

We were also told that last Wednesday was the record breaking day for R-Patz proposals to K-Stew - a day on which he popped the question an eye-watering eleven times.

One of K-Stew's friends told us that the actress isn't deliberately prevaricating over the multiple marriage proposals, but that she's not quite sure if he's serious or not and that she doesn't want to make an ass of herself.

More on today's R-Patz proposals tomorrow.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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