Written by Skoob1999
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Thursday, 22 April 2010

image for Girls Aloud's Nadine Coyle's Twitter Account Hacked
Proper Grub - That's The Ticket

Fans of Nadine Coyle, the Girls Aloud singer, were left confused and upset this week when a hacker posted on her Twitter account that the singer had lost 44lbs in weight by using a new dieting regime.

The hacker, writing as Nadine, said that she was surviving on a diet of air, cigarettes, exhaust fumes and cock a leekie cuppa soups. Fans were concerned because several sources had been reporting how skinny Nadine is looking these days and there had been reports of an eating disorder, although all such reports have been vehemently denied by Nadine Coyle herself. So they have.

Latest reports suggest that Nadine will be changing her Twitter details in order to prevent the hacker from posting malicious messages. One Nadine fan, Bernard Necklace of Basildon told us:

"She's always been a delicate slip of a girl, so you can imagine how I felt when I read that she'd lost another 44lbs. I was distraught. Had it been true, the poor girl would have looked like a piece of string. She'd have been as thin as a train ticket. In fact, if she had lost the 44lbs she would most probably have been dead. I mean, even with the 44lbs her arse still doesn't fill a pair of jeans properly."

We asked one of Britain's fattest men, Leonard Grubstuffer of Walsall in the West Midlands what he thought about skinny, size zero women? He said:

"Them's no good to me, them skinny uns. They needs a good feed up, get some proper grub down 'em, like pie and chips and rice pud with pizza and some egg sarnies. And loads o' burgers with mayo. Love handles, that's what them's short of."

Cheryl Cole is still only 5'3"

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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