Written by Cuff
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Wednesday, 21 April 2010

image for David Hasselhoff to Reprise Old Roles in 'The Hung and the Breathless'!
Am I coming or going?

Hollywood embraced recycling today when it was announced David Hasselhoff agreed to headline the new cable soap opera 'The Hung and the Breathless.'

Hasselhoff is best remembered by reviving the lifeguard series 'Pamwatch' and starring in the sci-fi comedy series Knight Rider where he talks to a car to save the world in an open competition with MacGiver.

In addition to his small screen success David had a strange popularity in Europe as a musician and became somewhat of a cult figure in the UK.

It was rumored he was to replace Wayne Newton in Vegas but Newton refuses to die and David's future is back where it began.

Taking a clue from his glory days his new role will feature him as the cheeseburger eating alcoholic Dr. Red Snapper who runs a mobile emergency health and sex rehab clinic out of his talking 1972 Ford Pinto.

The set location of the prime time soap will be one of the selling points and will shift from various sandy beaches in California, Hawaii, Malta, but none in Florida due to government quality requirements.

The show is using Pam Anderson's body as a template for the women, Neo Anderson for men, and per episode will have a minimum of five drownings, ten slo-mo boob bounce runs, eight sex scenes and be the first show to embrace the 10 inch minimum pecker standard.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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