Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 21 April 2010

image for American Idol's Randy "The Dawg" Jackson Gives Crystal Bowersox A Standing Ovation
The Shure Microphone which Crystal Bowersox uses on American Idol and which once belonged to Janis Joplin.

HOLLYWOOD - It does not happen very often, one of the American Idol judges was so moved by the excellent performance of Crystal Bowersox that he gave the Ohio singer a standing ovation.

Randy Jackson, no relation to Michael, Jesse, or Andrew, said that Crystal's rendition of Curtis Mayfield's "People Get Ready To Be Gettin' Ready To Get Yourself Ready" not only gave him goose bumps, it also gave him hives, the shakes, and a semi-woody.

Ellen DeGeneres remarked that the Bowersox song also gave her goose bumps, hives, and the shakes. Ellen grinned exposing those baby blues and said that, unlike her fellow judge "The Dawg" Jackson, she actually got a complete woody.

Kara DioGuardi giggled and said that Ellen is so funny that she knows that there are thousands of males out there would love to be with Ellen if she was a girl.

Simon "The Sultan of Sarcasm" Cowell laughed and told Ryan Seacrest that he would like to request that the four judges each be given a gender test.

Ellen jumped up and said that a gender test would be illegal and asked that instead the panel be given full and complete body cavity searches.

Ryan quickly chimed in by saying, "Ah, can I be first?"

In sports news. The rumor that the Green Bay Packers were going to be moving to Greenland has been proved to be false.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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