Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were today perplexed as Spoof writer SPECTRUM vowed to top the site writer chart.
Spoof writer Skoob was reported to be hitting the bottle with a vengeance after being informed that it was only a matter of time before SPECTRUM surpassed him in the prestigious list.
Insiders inform us that despite Skoob's outwardly amiable persona, he is in fact a really nasty bastard who would steal the crutches from a cripple.
And he's a wife beating alcoholic who would bum things, given the opportunity.
Skoob told us that he had nothing against Scotland but the pips went on the phone before he could elaborate.