Written by Kyle Emall
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Topics: Music, Concert

Friday, 28 January 2005

image for 200 People Die From New Music Genre
Band leader Billy Bob "Synn" On his cover "Closer to Hog"

Efforts to clean up after tragic concert in Kneedeep, Alabamahave taken longer than expected. Though the exits were clearly marked and concert goers were not crowded in, all but a handfull perished in what is now called the shortest musical genre in history.
To give people a more accurate history of events, this story goes back two years to the creation of the concerts cover band,"Switchblade Redneck". The group re-invented it'self to encompass a new idea, to bridge Goth and Country music. The result brought both local fame and disaster to the group. The lead vocalist, Billy Joe Bob Ulrich- or Billy Bob Synn created his origional sound while performing his favorite Hank Williams song to the accompany of the only musical instrument available to him at the time, a church organ. Since then, he has struggle to have his music heard. Finally he gained enough attention to book his first concert two weeks ago, the scene of the Fatal accident.
Really, appropriatly named 'Fatal Concert", Billy Bob's Band was so effective in thier music, that concert goers became depressed over the country lyrics and then enraged by the gothic musical overtone. What came next was a horrible scene of mass murder/suicide that could only be compared to by the incident at Georgetown.
Two weeks later, the burned out husk of the bar where they performed is now the scene of stacked body bags, awaiting claim by family members, since local coroners office is unable to store the quantity of corpses.
" No one has claimed them, and I don't think anyone will," said one emergency worker' " We confrontedmany family members and we got the same response from all of them- they denied knowledge of the individual."
One local used car dealership has offered to pay for the burial expenses by holding a special. Gus Warner of Trucks Trucks and Trucks replies, "Yeah, we just recieved 200 black pickup trucks complete with sword racks in back, you can take one home for 500 bucks. Thats the cost of burial for one of them nerds. That should take care of the smel--er- ease the suffrin'."
Switchblade Rednecks released one single, a cover of Nine Inch Nails song "Closer To Hog". Copies of the album are being tracked down and confiscated, buyers are asked to seek counseling and medication if the album has already been opened.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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