Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 17 April 2010

image for Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Secretly Rendezvous In Iceland
Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg walking from the parking lot to his office.

HOFN, Iceland - International celebs Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart decided to take a break from the hordes of paparazzi and vacation in a far, isolated, out-of-the-way place.

The two lovebirds decided on Iceland, where hardly anyone ever goes, or at least on purpose. Iceland is a beautiful country if one is a polar bear, a penguin, an Eskimo, or a snowman.

In fact Iceland's official tourist motto is: If you want to see more friggin snow than you have ever seen in your life, come on up to quasi-beautiful, semi-scenic Iceland. We won't disappoint you.

Pattinson and Stewart were actually invited to Iceland by the country's Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg. He told the two stars that they could have the entire use of his palatial mansion "Icy Ice Manor" located just outside of the town of Hofn, which is known as "The Snowball Capital of The World."

The two were very impressed with the prime minister's reindeer shaped Olympic sized swimming pool. Rob said that he had never before seen a swimming pool with salmon swimming around in it.

Kristen said that the thing that impressed her most about the pool was the mama and baby polar bear that were wading in the pool's adjoining wading pool.

Pattinson and Stewart were both having a fantastic time until Eyjafjallajokull started her damn volcanic rumblings.

The two stars of the vampire movies both agreed that it certainly put a damper on the romantic atmosphere that the land of endless snowdrifts had cast.

Kristen said that before she had realized it, her shocking pink bikini swimsuit was literally covered with gray specks of lava ash dust. Rob said that he looked down at his bowl of vanilla ice cream and noticed that it looked as if he had put some chocolate syrup on it.

The two lovebirds quickly headed out to the airport and caught the very first flight out of the country which took them to nice volcanic ash free Iraq.

In other news. Rumors that Lindsay Lohan went in to have all of the freckles on her hooha surgically removed proved to be false just as Tiger Woods had recently remarked to CNN's Anderson Cooper.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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