Written by Abel Rodriguez

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Saturday, 17 April 2010

image for Russell Brand's Manicurist Says "Rusty" Wants Cheryl Cole In The Worst Way
Simon Cowell is so pleased with Cheryl Cole's performance on X-Factor he has decided to give her more money (Shown).

LONDON - Russell Brand's manicurist, Timothea Tittleham has revealed that lately Mr. Brand has been having fantasies about Ashley Cole's soon-to-be-ex-wife Cheryl Cole.

Brand, who is considered one of the United Kingdom's 'Bad Boys' confessed that "Chezza" has a pair of the most beautiful legs he has ever laid eyes on (no pun intended).

He added that she also has a pair of the most fabulous looking breastits west of the English Channel.

Russell says that although he is totally thrilled with all of fiancée Katy's outward and inward intimate parts he still occasionally likes to just sit by the pool and imagine what it would be like to have 24-hour access to each and every one of Mrs. Cole's delicious personal parts.

Brand was asked if Miss Katy knows about his one-sided fantasy regarding the woman the free world has come to know and love as "Chezza."

He grins and states that his Katy knows and understands that it is just a very sweet, harmless infatuation which only helps him to want her (Katy) even that much more.

One of Katy's closest friends revealed that Katy herself also has fantasies about a certain Dancing With The Stars dancer whom she would only identify as having the initials D.H.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: David Hasselhoff (jk). It's Derek Hough.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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