Viewers tuning in to The One Show on BBC One last night were horrified to discover that the programme's iconic presenters Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakley were nowhere to be seen.
They had been inexplicably replaced by Chris Hollins and Louise Minchin, who conducted a somewhat ditzy interview with Meatloaf, who compared himself to a salmon(?) and Holly Johnson, who had a really drawly Scouse type accent. Which sounded seriously effeminate to this reporter's ears.
So what had happened to Adrian and Christine?
My Aunt Fanny insisted that they had staged a wildcat strike in protest at ex-ginger Chris Evans taking over the show on the more prestigious Friday night slot.
Keen to get to the bottom of the mystery, I did some quickfire internet research and discovered that trouble had been brewing over the Chris Evans Friday show slot for some time, with Chiles holding a scraggy beard protest over the issue and Bleakley running off with Frank Lampard. Although she denied it.
When I phoned a friend of Adrian Chiles, I was told that Chiles was 'on holiday' coarse fishing in Poland. Which directly contradicted an earlier report which had him fly fishing in Poland. I tried to find out the whereabouts of Christine Bleakley by calling a Belfast contact number, but I was told that the person on the other end had no idea where Christine Bleakley was and informed that I'd called a wrong number.
But my Aunt Fanny insists there's something fishy going on.
More as I get it.