Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 13 April 2010

image for Kerry Katona, Britney Spears And Lindsay Lohan Arrange London Piss-Up
Here We Go-Here We Go-Here We Go!

Media darlings Kerry Katona, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan have made tentative arrangements to get together for a girly day out in London.

Drinking to excess, in all probability.

The trio have arranged to meet in the 'Insane Bargee' pub in London's Docklands, before moven on to the 'Cropped Napper' on the South Bank followed by cocktails at 'The Neurotic Matchgirl' before an evening clubbing.

Probably at 'The Oasis Bar Grill And Steakhouse' in Portsmouth, which is described as 'an authentic dive, with genuine pirates, lapdancing, pole dancing and a mechanical bucking bronco - not the kind of place to take Aunt Lily.'

A spokesman for the Metropolitan Police stated that the Met would be well prepared for such an event and would have its top 'Calm Down Squad' on full alert. The Met were reportedly happy that the trio would be travelling to Portsmouth as the night drew on.

"We're okay with it," a spokesman for 'The Oasis Bar Grill And Steakhouse' told us. "We're used to rowdy customers. It matters not a jot to us how slaughtered Katona, Spears and Lohan get, they'll never be as unruly or violent as Pompey Lil - who pulls a flick knife out when she gets emotional. I'm sure everybody will have a good time."

Reports claiming that American pirate captain, Morse, of South Carolina would be flying in for the junket have yet to be confirmed.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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