AUSTIN - Sandra Bullock has confided to one of her best friends George Lopez that when she gets through with the womanizing tattooed piece of bison shit Jesse "Bowling Balls" James he will be living in a 10 by 20 foot log cabin in the Arkansas Ozarks.
Bullock said that each of Jesse's five cycle chicks is going to cost him dearly. She grinned and said that she hopes that Jesse and his tattooed harem of low-life leg-spreaders will all be happy in his crapola log cabin.
Jesse reportedly texted Sandra and told her that if she forgives him and takes him back he promises to get himself circumcised and never ever again get anywhere near another bikini burger except of course for hers.
He has also stated that if she takes him back he will promise to shower every single day and not just on Saturdays like he has been doing for the past five years of their marriage.
Bullock reportedly told George Lopez that the only way she would take Jesse back is if he promised to have a sex change operation.
Sandra paused for a few moments and added not that she is gay or anything but she just wants for Jesse's 3-inch wiggleworm to go away.
In other news. Ironic news out of Uganda is that a giant anaconda snake has swallowed an RV that was carrying three members of the Ugandan PETA organization.