NEW YORK CITY - Donald Trump, host, CEO, and owner of Celebrity Apprentice has just about had his fill of Sharon Osbourne being off due to sickness.
Trump remarked that there are people in third and fourth world countries who do not miss school, work, and their commitments as much as Sharon "Sniffle-Sniffle" Osbourne does.
The Donald said that he should have realized when he first signed Osbourne that she would not be dependable. He wishes now that he had gone with his gut instinct and contracted Rosie O'Donnell, who just happens to be his number one nemesis.
Trump said that as much as Rosie and he hate each other there is just no way that O'Donnell would have gotten sick and missed an opportunity to spar and fight with El Donaldo.
A representative from Celebrity Apprentice called Sharon up and Ozzy answered the phone. "Ahhh he-lllllo, dissss isssss ozzzzzy wwwhhaatt dodododo youuuu waaaant huhhhhh?"
The representative asked to speak to Sharon. Ozzy replied that she was in the bathroom taking a (BOWEL MOVEMENT) and to call back in three weeks.
SIDENOTE: Donald Trump is extremely upset with Sharon Osbourne. He is actually considering calling up the producers of America's Got Talent and demanding that they fire her blithering British ass or else he'll force NBC to cancel the damn show faster than Tiger Woods can change bitches.