HOLLYWOOD (AP) Angelina Jolie was rushed to the hospital this morning after a freak accident resulted in massive trauma to the beautiful actress. The fire rescue crew that transported Ms. Jolie to the hospital reported that her face looked like she was involved in some kind of explosion. "We called in the Bomb Squad when we saw Angelina's face!
Angelina Jolie's next door neighbor said, "Well, I think she was getting her lips pumped up so much, things just got out of hand and then… Ka-Boom!"
Dr. Richard Ingram, Angelina Jolie's plastic surgeon said, "I've been treating this patient for many years. When Angelina Jolie first came into my office she was a thin-lipped young lady. She cried and carried on about her appearance and dreamed that one day she would become a great movie star if only something could be done about her lips."
Dr. Ingram showed reporters a copy of Angelina's medical records, which listed at least 47 injections of various substances to her lips. Several "before and after" pictures showed the steady progress made in transforming the patient's wafer-thin lips to the massive pulsating lips which brought her fame and fortune. "I also made a couple other things larger for her," said the noted Hollywood surgeon.
Several Hollywood scandal sheets were having a field day with the news of the lip explosion suffered by Angelina Jolie. "Disgusting Gore!" and "Ugly Angelina!" screamed two of the leading tabloids.
Morgan Truce, investigative reporter for The Spoof uncovered the details of just what led up to Angelina Jolie's tragic lip explosion. "Late last night her good friend Brad Pitt came to see Angelina just after breaking up with his wife Jennifer Aniston. Brad was very disturbed and distraught over the breakup. Angelina, being such a good friend, offered Brad her shoulder to cry on. What happened next was just a freaky accident. As Brad laid his head on her shoulder, his spike hairdo made contact with Angelina's extremely pouty lips… causing a sudden explosion!
Brad's dangerous spikes...
Medical teams from around the world have been brought in and are confident they will be able to get Angelina Jolie all pumped up again. Angelina's fans sent thousands of baskets of flowers to her hospital room and a makeshift shrine has been set up at the scene of the gory explosion--- which has not yet been mopped up.