Eccentric British film director Buffty Ginslinger today announced in a Soho pub that he has a grand plan to reinvent Harry Potter stars Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson into a British version of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, the Twilight duo.
When one woman in the Soho pub where he was holding court whilst chugging on a large G&T pointed out that Robert Pattinson was already English, Ginslinger completely ignored her.
Ginslinger went on to say that he'd done some extensive research on the interweb and that there were far more references to Pattinson and Stewart on there, than there were to Radcliffe and Watson. The key to stardom he insisted was interweb success, and that if Radcliffe and Watson wanted to keep up with the Americans, then they'd jolly well better start up a romance or something and sign up for a film project he is developing involving a boy/girl alien couple, very much in love getting caught up in a love triangle with a predator, to be played by kick dressing cross boxer Alex Reid.
With Katie Price playing a large breasted Alien Queen and Cheryl Cole playing a girl with a barbed wire tattoo.
Ginslinger went on to say that he would even consider parts for Susan Boyle and Little Fatty if the budget stretched that far.
Then he slumped face down over a table.
The producers of the Twilight and Harry Potter franchises are reportedly shitting themselves.
More as we get it.