Written by Skoob1999
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Friday, 9 April 2010

image for Alex Reid To Be The New Steven Seagal
Alex Livingstone Seagal In Practice Yesterday.

Eccentric British film director Buffty Ginslinger today told anyone who'd listen that he was desperate to sign cock fighting welsh dresser Alex Reid for a new movie project designed to fill the niche left largely unfilled by Hollywood tough-guy actor Steven Seagal.

Buffty Ginslinger stated that Alex Reid would make the ideal replacement for Seagal, who he claimed hasn't been working much lately because he's piled on the pounds, and seems to be getting "a bit jowly."

Which in Ginslinger's book is not a good image for a Hollywood tough-guy to convey.

Speaking in a Soho pub and waving his arms about quite a lot, Ginslinger repeated several times that Alex Reid could be the new Seagal, because he was lean, mean, hungry and sexy. Although he would need acting lessons in order to ditch the 'little boy lost' look he tends to adopt.

Buffty Ginslinger said that once Alex had mastered the art of the thousand yard stare, he could start counting the money as it rolled in. He even added that there would probably be openings for Katie Price in any upcoming projects, probably as some kind of femme fatale with really big tits.

Our man in Soho, Julian Ponce, called Alex Reid, who informed us that he's never heard of Buffty Ginslinger, but would be willing to talk to him.

"Fancy that," he chuckled. "Me as the new Steven Seagal. I really like Steven Seagal, me. This is exciting news!"

In the background, somebody who sounded like Katie Price was heard to say:

"What's in it for me then?"

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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