Oslo - (Bird On A Wire Mess): "Our Cheryl's not exactly one for mortifying the flesh," Joan Callaghan's cleaning lady's Brazilian epilatrice commented today.
"Maybe the tattoo's shambolic, like. Er, symbolic! Kinda Thigh Willy Be Dun crown of thorns for the upper leg? Hahaha."
And all this fuss is about what? A barbed wire tattoo high up on La Cole's right thigh which Norwegian viewers of the Skavlan show saw in a carefully choreographed flesh-flash yesterday evening.
"The comparison to an Opus Dei cilice is inevitable," religious sources close to The Spoof have advised.
"It's a bit like a modern-day electonic ankle tag, designed to steer the wearer away from concupiscence - or inclination to sin.
"And corporal mortification is very 'in' these days, luv, if you're into penance.
"Of course, nobody actually thinks Cheryl is a closet Opus Dei penitent, do they? Had quite enough mortification from that dodgy husband Ashley.
"Still, it could be a message."