Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 9 April 2010

image for Malcolm McLaren To Receive Full State Funeral
McLaren's hair this morning

Malcolm McLaren, the former Sex Pistols manager who died in a Swiss hospital on Thursday, is to receive a full state funeral preceded by a full week of national mourning, it has been announced.

McLaren, 64, died of mesothelioma, a rare form of cancer after being diagnosed last October.

He originally formed and groomed the Sex Pistols and their front man, Johnny Rotten, and unleashed them on an unsuspecting public in 1976 - the lighting of the blue touch paper which saw punk rock explode onto the music scene in 1977.

As tributes poured in today, the announcement came from Buckingham Palace that the Prince of Punk was to receive the recognition usually reserved for Royalty and Heads of State, and the public will be able to visit his corpse - dressed in a specially-designed Vivienne Westwood red tartan 3-piece suit, and placed in a black velvet casket - at Westmisnter Abbey, before he is eventually laid to rest in Highgate Cemetery. Accompanying music by the Pistols will be tastefully blasted through speakers inside the Abbey.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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