Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 8 April 2010

image for Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens To Film Mr. and Mrs. Billy The Kid on Robert Pattinson's Texas Ranch
Rob Pattinson's favorite horse Sea Nostrils. (Photo courtesy of Laredo Mayor Miguel Ivan Rodriguez, Sr.)

LAREDO, Texas - The Candlelight Motion Picture Company in association with Chula Vista Pictures has just announced that their western The True Untold Story of Mr. And Mrs. Billy The Kid will be filmed on location on Robert Pattinson's El Rancho De La Senorita Loca Ranch located outside of Laredo.

The 3,175 acre South Texas ranch was purchased for Pattinson by his girlfriend Kirsten Stewart back in January of this year.

Miss Stewart paid $2.9 million for the sprawling Lone Star state ranch, which she put on her Diamond Sparkle Credit Card.

The movie screenplay was written by noted western writer Louis Armadillo, who has written such classic westerns as Friggin' Ambush at Wet Gulch, Damn Massacre at Fort Frijoles, and the winner of the 2008 Wyatt Earp Award For Historical Accuracy, Squaw Sally Gets Her Effen Loincloth In a Bind.

The film will be directed by noted Italian director Intaglio Enricolini who recently directed Paris Hilton in the science fiction thriller The Spacey Skank From Saturn.

Enricolini said that co-starring with Efron and Hudgens will be Toby Keith as Sheriff Pat Garret, Wolf Blitzer as his brother Deputy Brad Garret, Ellen DeGeneres as "Lesbian Lil," Rosie O'Donnell as "Fat Lesbian Lulu," and Richard Simmons as "Sidesaddle Sidney."

SIDENOTE: Donald Trump was to have appeared as tinhorn tenderfoot elixir salesman "Harry The Hair" but had to back out when he remembered that he was allergic to rattlesnakes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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