READING, Pennsylvania - It is no secret that Kate Gosselin has got to be one of the worst contestants in the history of Dancing With The Stars.
Even her dance instructor Tony Dovolani says that Kate has two left feet, no sense of rhythm whatsoever, and one of the most vulgar mouths he has ever heard.
Tony said that Kate has an ongoing feud with fellow contestant Pamela Anderson whom Kate says she cannot stand because she smells like silicone.
Pam has told the members of the media who cover Dancing With The Stars that she does not like being around Kate because she smells like baby toys, baby food, and baby vomit.
Tony has confided to British judge Len "The Old Crotch" Goodman that he would much rather have the meanest Florida Everglades alligator for a dance partner.
He thought about it for a moment and then added, that he would even rather have the gaytalian Bruno Tonioli for a dance partner adding that at least Bruno doesn't smell like baby diapers.
Kate knows that none of the judges like her. She is tired of them telling her that her calves look like something one would find underneath an elephant.
She hates hearing the judges say that her thighs look like the thighs of a circus fat lady.
And she certainly hates hearing Pamela Anderson say that she knows now why Jon (her ex-husband) hit the road. Pam raises her eyebrows, rolls her eyes and says that Kate has got more between her legs than poor little Jon does.
Kate has apparently confided to a long time girlfriend that she wants to get out of DWTS so bad, due to her looking like a total ignorant klutz, that she may just make up a story about her having to leave the show to tend to her eight spoiled brat kids.
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