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Wednesday, 7 April 2010

image for Dawn French: I Left Lenny For Peter Andre
Remember : don't believe in image alone

Comedy legend, Dawn French, has today revealed the real reason behind her split with another comedy legend, Lenny Henry.

In an interview with Sir Morgan of Talent, Dawn revealed, "I've been following Peter Andre since Mysterious Girl, I guess I've always been besotted. I've stood by and watched heartbroken as he got walked all over by his ex-wife, and then sold down the river by his stylist."

Choking back the contractually required tears of Sir Morgan's show Dawn continued, "When I saw him on the cover of a magazine with Kerry Katona I knew it couldn't go on any longer. I immediately tweeted Len and told him I had to follow my heart, and not to forget to feed the cat."

The article which sparked Dawn's drastic decision caused a stampede in in one newsagent as Andre-hungry consumers flocked to view the latest next big story. The headline article was accompanied by images of Peter and Kerry together, and although the big writing claimed they love each other the little writing revealed that's "just as friends".

A digital illustrator said, "Dawn shouldn't have left Len on the strength of those pictures of Peter and Kerry together. They are blatantly old separate images cobbled together to give the appearance they are together. You only have to look at the shadow inconsistencies to see they've been photo-shopped. If you want my opinion this was some kind of April Fool joke Andre was playing on his ex-wife. Either that or people really do believe anything."

It has been reported that Dawn was seen earlier purchasing a one berth tent, a torch, a kagool and a thermos flask. It is believed she plans to camp outside Andre's home in a bid to save him from his taste in women.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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