Written by Hartley
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Tuesday, 6 April 2010

image for Katie Price: Who's Gordon Brown Think He Is?
Brown scuppers Price's plans

Katie Price was positively glowing with rage earlier as she learned her global master-plan may be in jeopardy.

Speaking at her daily Price conference Katie started out by telling reporters that she plans to launch a new range of marriage guidance products soon, adding, "I am bringing out this range to mark the first anniversary of my split from Peter Andre on 6th May."

Upon hearing Katie's exclusively revealed launch date the weary reporters suddenly broke out into fits of laughter, much to Price's surprise. After asking why everyone was laughing at her one plucky journalist informed the professional role model that 6th May is the date of the General Election.

Price, understanding immediately that she would get no coverage on that date flew into a rage screaming, "WHAT THE HELL???? NO ONE CONSULTED ME!!!! WHO ON EARTH TOLD THEM THEY COULD DO THAT???? ... WHO??? ... THE BLOODY QUEEN ??? I AM THE BLOODY QUEEN!!!"

Price then ran out of the room like Wonderwoman shouting "I COME FIRST! I WILL STOP THIS BLOODY ERECTION! NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE PRICEY!!!"

Katie was later seen ordering her cage-fighting husband Alex Reid to remove the railings at the end of Downing Street, and was overheard saying, "If you don't do it I'll tell the world you've got an acorn in your pants - I did it to Pete and I'll do it to you."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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