Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 6 April 2010

image for Rumors of A 2009 Sandra Bullock Sax Tape Surface
Sandra Bullock (R) and Cameron Diaz (L) playing volleyball at Catalina Island.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - In a brand new revelation regarding the "TattooGate" saga, now comes word out of West Hollywood of the existence of a sax tape starring Sandra Bullock.

The sax tape purports to show the Academy Award winner for Best Actress playing an alto saxophone while wearing nothing but a pastel pink Victoria's Secret teddy.

Word of the sax tape, which supposedly was shot last year at the Beverly Hills mansion of a well known concert musician, first came to light from a mechanic who works for Bullock's husband Jesse James and who asked that his name not be revealed.

James said that Kurt Kirkland Kamelmeister, who resides in Calabasas, California, has worked as a mechanic for his West Coast Choppers Company for four years.

Jesse went on to say that KKK, as he is known, first saw the sax tape at a bachelor party that he attended for his twin brother Kyle Kirby Kamelmeister a week ago in Redondo Beach.

The Kamelmeister's first noticed that the tape featured Sandra Bullock because both had seen photos of her in Jesse's office showing Sandra sitting on a motorcycle and wearing nothing more than black motorcycle boots, a black motorcycle Nazi helmet, and a black Catalina Island one piece swimsuit.

An attorney for Ms. Bullock said that he is 93 percent certain that the sax tape is definitely photo shopped. When asked what makes him think so he replied that Ms. Bullock has never in her life played the alto sax. She has played the flute, the oboe, the bassoon, and the glockenspiel, but never the alto sax.

In other news. Word that Shakira had dislocated both hips during her performance at New York's Madison Square Garden have proven to be false. Shakira responded by saying, "Hey, my hips feel fine...and my hips don't lie."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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