Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 3 April 2010

image for Abbey Clancy Named One of Great Britain's Top WAGs
The beach at Dubai, India. If you look real close you can see Abbey Clancy and her mom at the extreme lower left.

LONDON - Abbey Clancy, stunning wife of English footballer Peter Crouch, has just been named one of England's top football WAGs.

Clancy joins the likes of Victoria Beckham, Toni Terry, Cheryl Cole, and Coleen Rooney. Great Britain's WAG Federation will be presenting Clancy with a silver plaque, a gold plated trophy, and a check for £50,000 [$76,000 U.S.]

The GBWAGF also stated that new for this year, Abbey Clancy will also be the guest of Queen Elizabeth II, in a special English pheasant formal dinner to be held in Buckingham Palace in early June.

During the dinner Russell Brand will provide the comedic relief. Brand has promised that he will try not to use the "F" word or the "P" word as well. He made no promise regarding the "N" word.

The dinner will be followed by a private concert which will feature Leona Lewis, Tony Bennett, Susan Boyle, and Girls Aloud singer Sarah Harding.

Abbey Clancy was interviewed poolside at her hotel in Dubai. She was asked about the wardrobe malfunction that had occurred sometime ago at the FiFi Fragrance Award Show.

Clancy said that she did not really want to talk about it anymore as she has already done so 805 times.

She was then asked about her wardrobe malfunction which had occurred at last November's Cover Girl Underwear Gala in Manchester.

Abbey replied that she was not going to talk about that incident either.

She was then asked what she did want to talk about. Abbey smiled, paused for a few moments, and then said, "Well I don't mind talking about my fantastic looking body and how absolutely delicious it looks in my brand new £7,000 [$10,600 U.S.] frilly bejeweled peach bikini swimsuit."

SIDENOTE: Abbey was accompanied to Dubai, India by her mother Karen. And wow! Mom is not a bad looking lady. Russell Brand probably said it best when he said, "Ya know mate, iffin me Katy let me, I'd do da fine lookin' Karen in a fookin' Piccadilly minute and ya kin bet your bottom quid dat I abso-bloomin'-lutely wuud by crikies."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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