Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Hollywood, Hospital, star

Friday, 2 April 2010

image for Hollywood Star Stable In Holby General Hospital
Hang In There Simian Bogus! We Love You!

The veteran Hollywood actor, Simian Bogus was said to be stable in the Intensive Care Unit at the fictional BBC hospital where Charlie Fairhead used to ply his trade.

Bogus, 119, a Rwandan national was admitted with a lung infection late last night. Friends told us that he was comfortable.

Bogus, a 60 foot tall ape who played King Kong in the 1933 original opposite Fay Wray, and in subsequent remakes opposite Jessica Lange and Naomi Watts posed problems for hospital staff, as they didn't have a 60 foot bed free at the time of his admission, as Godzilla was being treated for a split diaphragm by a renowned endocrinologist from Crouch End.

Staff did manage to make do and mend, cobbling a bed together from scrap metal and a mattress made of traffic cones from the factory across the road.

Friends confided to one of our men that they weren't overly optimistic about Bogus pulling through this time, and revealed that the last 30 years of his life have been spent in almost constant pain.

"It takes it out of you in the end," one said. "Poor old Simian's been knocked off the Empire State Building at least twice, and the World Trade Center, and he always seems to land on his head. That kind of punishment takes its toll eventually. And that's without taking into account the battles with dinosaurs, Godzilla, pterodactyls, sharks, and sea serpents. He's been pretty resilient over the years but I doubt that even he is going to be able to turn this one around."

Cheetah, out of Tarzan, Michael Jackson's Bubbles, Mighty Joe Young and Clyde the Orangutan out of Clint Eastwood's 'Every Which Way But Loose' have mounted a candlelit vigil with hymnns and prayers outside Holby General.

Our prayers and our hearts go out to Simian 'King Kong' Bogus tonight.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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