Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 1 April 2010

image for Off-the-Wall Street: Money Never Weeps premieres next week
A still from the movie's rushes

Hollywood - (Crocodile Tears): A new movie about the fall of Ponzi scammer Bernard Madoff tells the story of his last 24 hours before failed Lemon Brothers bankers grassed him up to the FBI.

It will premiere next week at a new Manhattan cinema complex formerly the global HQ of the First Moneylaundering Bank of Crawford, Texas.

Starring a cryogenically resurrected Michael Douglas as the bankrupted City fraudster the movie features Shia 'Sunni' LaBeouf as Madoff's sidekick, LaBeouf's real-life girlfriend and Public Enemies actress Scarey Mulligan, Madea Goes to Jail star Vanessa Fellatio (sic) and Dead Men Talking's Susan Sarandon who plays Madoff's ruthless Lady Macbeth-esque wife Ruth.

The movie plot revolves around Madoff's relationship with the Illuminati and the various Bush Administration honchos such as former presidential bagman to Bush 1 and Bush 2 and ex-ambassador to London William Stamps Farish III.

A cameo role by Dame Helen Mirren in drag sees the Oscar winning diva play a very camp Tony Blair.

And a somewhat roughed-up Kate Winslet plays her real-life mother the former Senator for New York Hillary Clinton.

Clint Eastwood is 89.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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