Written by Proffitt
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Topics: Katie Price

Thursday, 1 April 2010

image for Katie Price to Launch Own Paper
Kate reads the 1st edition

Katie Price the balloon boobed Greek basher is not happy at her lack of press exposure. She is so pissed off she has decided to launch her own broadsheet newspaper.

Titled 'Katie Price'd at 75 pence' it will go out 7 days a week with a special evening edition on Saturdays, allowing us the opportunity to catch up on Katie's Friday night activities. But will it leave the Murdoch Empire quaking in their boots? Err not likely when you realise Editor in Chief will be none other than Harvey!

We asked Katie what her paper would deliver to its readers. "Front page will be reserved for stories just about me, detailing how beautiful, sexy and intelligent I am. There will be a topless picture of me on page 3 and inside I will also be writing a column about world issues. Alex will be doing the back page sport and Harvey is putting it all together."

Katie went on to say "We launch next week with 'How I Crushed Pete Under My Stiletto Heel,' taking front page. On page 3 I will be naked aside from Alex's favourite leopard skin thong and my column will be about the time I met the Dalai Llama at 64 Zoo Lane." Harvey has assured me all is in hand after he struck a print deal with his nursery's newsletter printer in town. We are starting small with just 35 million copies but plan to go worldwide by autumn this year."

We visited a famous Fleet Street pub and asked some hacks for their opinion. One said "It won't last long will it. People will soon get bored of reading about Katie's knockers and Alex's frillies but the real surprise is Harvey, I mean common he's a fuckwit!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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