CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Russell Brand and Katy Perry were down in Mexico vacationing in Cabo San Lucas at the luxurious The Whole Enchilada Hotel and Spa.
Both were sitting out by the pool and Katy was wearing a tiny red bikini swimsuit that looks like it could have belonged to one the munchkins from the Wizard of Oz.
Russell was taking a nap in a lounge chair beside her. When he woke up he noticed a crowd of about 40 men, boys, and two lesbians had gathered and were standing around Katy.
Brand asked what was going on. "Ahhh, we no speek Inglitch senor" came a reply from one of the older hombres.
Russell could not see Katy as she was completely surrounded. He called out "Katy, are ya still dair lovey?"
"Yes I am hon." Came the soft reply.
"Are ya scared sugar lips?" Brand asked.
"Ahh, will I just noticed that someone has removed my bikini top, so yes, I guess that yes would be a pretty damn good fitting answer."
With that Russell stood up and shouted out, "Okay mis ombligos, dee choe chee ease ober, okayo?"
One of the younger muchachos replied, "Hey Missur Row-sull ju speek da Spinach pretty kinda good no?"
Brand thanked him and asked that they please move away from his soon-to-be-wife because she was starting to have trouble breathing and he was afaid that she might pass out from the 109 degree mother effen Mexican heat.
The men and boys complied with his instructions. The two lesbians didn't. Please leave he told them and they said that they would but only after Katy would agree to autograph their cleavage. Katie complied.
As they turned to go Russell hollered out to one of the two lesbians, "Ah senora, could ju please to return my wife's friggin, frackin, mother effen bikini top please, muchas Garcias!"
SIDENOTE: In Russell's concern over his wife's bikini swimsuit, he failed to notice that someone had removed his swimsuit as well.