Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 1 April 2010

image for Robert Pattinson, Jesse James, and Ricky Martin To Star Int "The Three Musketeers - A Gay Blade and Two Straight Ones"
Part of Robert Pattinson's movie will be filmed in the Fickle Green Forest just outside of Portsmouth, England.

HOLLYWOOD - Lionsdoor Pictures in association with Cripple Creek Pictures has announced that Robert Pattinson, Jesse James, and Ricky Martin have been signed to appear in the Monteverdi Brothers production of The Three Musketeers - A Gay Blade and Two Straight Ones.

Amaretto Monteverdi and his brother Staccato stated that it was interesting how the three had been cast a full week before Ricky Martin even came out with the fact that he rides 'sidesaddle.'

When asked if Martin was the 'Gay Blade' in the title, Staccato laughed and said that yes it was funny that Martin had been cast as a queer swashbuckler before anyone even knew that casting him as a queer swashbuckler would be 'perfect casting.'

Pattinson was asked if the fact that Ricky Martin has now come out and admitted that he prefers tamales to tacos would have any bearing on the filming of the movie.

Robert smiled and said that it wouldn't just as long as Ricky does not insist on inserting some kissing into their sword fighting scenes.

Jesse James was asked if he felt the same way. He grinned, took a drink from his Lone Star Long Neck Beer Bottle and said, "Hey, the way my luck is going, who knows, Ricky may just end up being 'TattooGate's' Cycle Chick #5."

"Ah, you are kidding?" Jesse was asked.

"Nopers. I am as serious as a pair of cotton balls on a bunny rabbit."

In other news. The Canadian Olympic Committee has decided to donate the over 200,000 leftover Olympic T-shirts to the government of Iceland where they will be sewn together to make t-shirt coats for polar bears, penguins, and homeless citizens of Iceland

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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