MELBOURNE, Australia - Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd is fit to be tied to the tallest Eucalyptus tree in the Australian outback.
American comedian Robin Williams was 'down under' to see about purchasing a male and female kangaroo, along with a male and female koala, and two male dingos.
He was asked by local radio station disc jockey Howard Homer Higginfickin what he thought about the Australian people.
Williams grinned, grabbed his crotch, and said "Well to be honest, I guess that the best way I can put it is that Aussies are really nothing more than British rednecks."
Higginfickin immediately killed Williams mic and told him to get his racist, bigoted, ugly arse out of his radio station and see about booking the next flight back to Alabama where rednecks were first invented.
Williams told Higginfickin that rednecks were not born in Alabama and that they actually originated in Arkansas after World War II.
Higginfickin told him that he will see to it that no Australian citizen ever attends one of his horrendously awful movies again.
Robin replied that he does not make movies anymore and the ones that he has made do not even pay for his addiction to Ritz Crackers.
When Williams arrived at Melbourne's Crocodile Dundee Airport he was detained by Aussie police and subjected to a full orifice and cavity search by Aussie police as well as by three Aussie police dogs.
When one of the police dogs accidentally bit Williams' sphincter muscle he was taken by bicycle to the nearest hospital, St. Sisters of The Barbie, which is a good 38 miles from the airport.
SIDENOTE: Williams bill for his two hour hospital stay came out to $873,280. Hospital (redneck?) officials say that he will remain in police custody at the hospital until the amount is paid in full.